Premature Ejaculation Is No Help To Anyone, Pregnant or Not!

Be a Man

There are courses and workshops which are available to guide men to a greater understanding of the meaning of masculinity.

The line of attack on any case of premature ejaculation which needs to be treated is for a man to find a way of making love that causes the least level of sexual arousal, and allows him to maintain his sexual arousal below the point of no return for as long as possible.

That may mean in practice is ensuring that foreplay is prolonged, so that he has a chance to become accustomed to the sheer excitement of sexual interaction with his partner before beginning penetration.

Although you might think that that would be likely to promote rapid ejaculation, the truth is that it’s rapid sex, short foreplay, and brief interaction with the partner and superficial physical sexual engagement which tends to promote rapid ejaculation.

By becoming intimately connected with his partner, by engaging in prolonged foreplay and by regarding sexual intercourse as a process that has to be taken slowly.

Indeed, perhaps, as slowly as possible to forestall the ejaculation which is otherwise inevitably going to happen.

And one way to do this is for a man to enter into another process of acclimatization.

This is “sexual acclimatization”, whereby he becomes accustomed to the excitement of sex and, having become accustomed to it, is therefore able to last longer before becoming unduly aroused.

Premature Ejaculation Control

In practice sex designed for premature ejaculation control is generally recommended in the side-by-side sexual position which puts much less pressure on a man’s penis, and thereby gives less stimulation to his penis, and hopefully therefore unable since last longer during intercourse.

Since premature ejaculation is one of the most common male sexual problems, it certainly deserves closer attention than it appears to have received up until this point.

About 30% of adult men ejaculate prematurely, which in practical terms means that they have significant problem with premature or fast ejaculation. And it’s not a problem for the man alone — it’s often a problem for his partner.

Men may tend to be very “macho” about the problem and adopting an attitude of bravado that disguises embarrassment and possibly shame about the problem. But many men can’t cope with the sense of inadequacy that premature ejaculation brings about. They may express anger towards themselves or their partner, or perhaps show their low self-esteem in negative self talk.

The fact is, that all you have to do as a therapist is listen to the men who have this problem when they talk about it, and you will understand that premature ejaculation is a far from trivial problem. In fact it can be extremely challenging to both a man and his partner.

Premature ejaculation is both emotionally distressing, and has until this point been problematic to treat successfully.

So one has to ask whether or not there is any effective method of treatment.

The answer this seems to be that there is; although it depends on a combination of techniques used in the past, together with a selection of techniques of more recent origin, which encompass both behavior management, sexual education, and physiological modification.

In addition, many therapy speak highly of neurolinguistic programming or NLP as a means to “reprogram” the man’s expectations around sex to avoid both anxiety and the expectation of early ejaculation.

Whether or not you regard classification of premature ejaculation as helpful probably depends on the discipline from which you approach the problem.

Doctors are likely to think of the classification is helpful since symptomatology and diagnosis tend to rely on the clear indication of categories.

Coming from this position, you could see that premature ejaculation might be caused by medical conditions including a neurological disposition, some kind of illness, some kind of injury, or some kind of medication.

Now the fact is that no evidence has been amassed for any of these explanations of premature ejaculation.

Even the sense that some writers give you that the condition is a neurological disposition is false, to the extent that there cannot possibly be any correlation between serotonin levels in the brain and the condition.

Anecdotal evidence such as men with antidepressant prescriptions finding that their ejaculation is delayed or inhibited altogether is purely that: a coincidental relationship, and certainly not one of cause and effect.

In addition, psychological causes include anxiety, relationship conflicts, and a deficit or deficiency in psychosexual skills.

How Does Premature Ejaculation Affect The Partner?

 

As far as the partner is concerned, anger is an extremely common reaction, as some women who would reach orgasm were sexual intercourse to go on for long enough. There will also be sexual frustration and anger and sadness at the disruption that the man’s ejaculation causes during lovemaking.

The pain that women experience during premature ejaculation is that of emotional abandonment. That’s because lovemaking in the Western world finishes when the man’s ejaculation has taken place.

Furthermore, women may be dissatisfied with a man’s sexual performance while willing to tolerate it if he does not take any steps that might help him discover how to last longer in bed.

A defense mechanism that is employed by many men to get over the shame of premature ejaculation is the sense that it is somehow impossible to cure the problem, or somehow impossible to please his partner.

One effective way to deal with this may be to use some complementary therapy such as emotional freedom technique (EFT).  Another may be to find techniques to increase endurance during lovemaking.

So many men simply don’t want to seek help, perhaps out of embarrassment, but the truth is that seeking help will not prove the man’s inadequate in bed!

Avoidance of the problem can be interpreted as a personal abandonment by the woman, which is reinforced by the fact that most men do nothing about premature ejaculation — even if they have experienced it for years. It’s easy to see how a woman in this situation could interpret her man’s attitude.

The problem is that in general, most men with this condition are actually trying to hide how they feel about it so as not to make things worse for their lover.

This is paradoxical behavior that causes the situation to deteriorate as the many men have relied on anecdotal treatments such as biting their lip or focusing on non-sexual thoughts.

Neither of these, nor other strategies such as using two condoms or anesthetic lotions and desensitization agents on the penis, produce a significant improvement in ejaculatory control. In the majority of cases, as already observed, it is essential that men understand that more than one technique will often be necessary to cure premature ejaculation.

Indeed, the unexpected paradox is that some techniques can make things worse because they actually reduce the pleasure of the man, and may even cause erectile dysfunction.